Guess who's back.. back again..

YUP, Eminem again. Sorry not sorry. It's been a minute and wanted to give a quick life lately. Two majors happened on June 18th. That Tuesday I was filled with many mixed emotions. 

First // I had orientation for my masters program that I will be starting in the fall! I was able to meet the teachers, fellow students, get my ID, and all that jazz. It all still feels surreal. I don't think it will feel real until I actually start my classes. I am very excited to start my classes and be closer to my career. I feel like I've been in work limbo, I love, loved working at the school but it wasn't a career.  I'm also nervous (hello anxiety) because I'm used to classes that just talk about social issues and feelings and now I will be learning about helping people in a new way. August will come sooner than I think and then we are off to the races!

Second // June 18th is a very, very special day that I hold close to my heart. June 18th is my big brothers birthday. Jesse would have turned 35, and boy do I wish he was here to celebrate. He passed away almost 6 years ago and I've been missing him ever since. On his birthday I try my hardest to make the day more about celebrating my favorite person and the life he lived. He was unapologetically himself and had the kindest soul. I looked up to my brother ever since I can remember. He LOVED to tell me stories and give life lessons which I keep filed away for when I need them and I DO end up needing them. He is my kindred spirit who now watches me from above, he had a way of knowing what I was thinking without me even saying a word. Birthday's are hard, I feel guilty because I usually post something for his birthday but this year I didn't. I know it sounds silly but it helps me cope and feel like he's still here. On Jesse's birthday I usually like to listen to his favorite band and maybe look at old pictures/conversations. I try to stay positive but its frickin hard. I'd like to take this moment to say, happy birthday big brother. Your spirit lives on through me and I'm trying my best to keep your light shining. There is so much I could say about Jesse but I will keep it short and sweet. Thank you for being the best brother anyone could ask for and teaching me that life is better when you stay true to who you are and that Chicago pizza is the best 'za. Unity. 

Thanks for reading through all that even though I got a little sappy. When I started this blog my goal was to keep it positive. But, I also wanted to be genuine because if someone else can relate to this and find it helpful or just know they are not alone then I'm happy. If you have a loved one who has passed away, do you do anything special on their birthday? Asking for a friend and myself. 

xoxo

A